A Family of Woodchucks Ate Paul Ryan's Car

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• #i

https://world wide web.npr.org/2018/07/12/628515994/a-family-of-woodchucks-ate-paul-ryans-car

House Speaker Paul Ryan explained Th that a family of woodchucks moved into his Chevy Suburban recently, eating the wiring, and rendering the motorcar useless.

"My car was eaten by animals," Ryan said, to laughs from an audience at an eventhosted by the Economical Gild of Washington D.C. "It'southward just dead."

The car was parked at his female parent'southward house in his hometown in Wisconsin, and when she came back from her almanac trip to Florida for the wintertime, it wouldn't outset. As a top congressional leader Ryan has a security detail and hasn't been immune to drive in 3 years.

"And so I towed it into the dealer, they put information technology upwardly, and they realized that a family unit of woodchucks lived in the underbody of my Suburban," Ryan said.

Ryan told the story subsequently giving a speech about how he feels Republican policies, like concluding year's revenue enhancement overhaul, have helped the economy. He disagreed, however, with President Trump's decisions to impose tariffs on a number of nations, most recently on China.

He did say nevertheless, that he would be getting a new Ford truck upon retirement, to supplant the defunct Suburban. And he renewed his license so that when he no longer is escorted around in a government vehicle he can drive his new truck.

• #2

Where is the civility amongst woodchucks?

Quinton

Specialist at TheGamer / Reviewer at RPG Site

• #7

If there is such a thing as an act of God, at that place we go.

• #8

Is Maxine Jones a sorceress? Now fifty-fifty mother nature'southward harassing republican leaders.

• #nine

So much for the tolerant woodchuck.

• #10

Even the nature is trying to fuck with this guy. Information technology'southward like TLOTR confronting the dark forces of Sauron.

• #xi

The fact that this is a funny story to him and non a devastating loss of transportation that he can't afford to replace speaks volumes.

• #12

He did say however, that he would be getting a new Ford truck upon retirement,

How much truck could a woodchuck muck if a woodchuck could muck trucks

• #13

As he prepares to retire after two½ years equally House speaker, he leaves behind a legacy of dramatically expanded regime spending and immense deficits, a GOP president unchecked, a cleaved clearing organization, and a political party that's fast abandoning the costless-trade principles that he himself championed.

Paul "I got mine so fuck yall" Ryan.

• #14

Find it baroque that Paul Ryan was largely left solitary as soon as he appear his retirement.

• #15

Peradventure i of those woodchucks oughta run for Paul Ryan's office.

• #16

Wait a woodchuck is a name for a groundhog oh my god wha

• #17

I'll personally give these woodchucks each a teeny little medal

• #18

I see a weirdly loftier amount of woodchucks hither in Wisconsin. I should finish being surprised when I see them. At least they recognized a good person to target

• #nineteen

How much automobile can a Woodchuck eat

• #22

How dare those woodchucks and their lack of decorum!

• #23

I've found the windshield fluid lines in my Subaru chewed on by rats earlier. That'south the chance yous take parking outside.

• #24

The fact that this is a funny story to him and not a devastating loss of transportation that he can't afford to replace speaks volumes.

Senators brand a small parcel so information technology'due south not all that surprising.

• #25

Senators make a small-scale packet so information technology's non all that surprising.

almost all of our elected politicians are millionaires. it'south ridiculous.

• #26

These guys are moving up on my animal tier list.

• #28

He did say nonetheless, that he would be getting a new Ford truck upon retirement, to replace the defunct Suburban. And he renewed his license so that when he no longer is escorted around in a government vehicle he tin drive his new truck.

retirement... at age 48/49.... "fuck you got mine"

• #29

Wait a woodchuck is a name for a groundhog oh my god wha

When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope. Nonetheless we know that winter is but another step in the cycle of life. But standing hither among the people of Punxsutawney and basking in the warmth of their hearths and hearts, I couldn't imagine a better fate than a long and lustrous winter.

• #xxx

Given them a Nobel Prize.

• #31

Those woodchucks deserve a medal.

• #32

IIRC car makers are using a soy-based insulation for machine wiring which attracts rabbits, etc. I remember an article a long while back of this being an increasingly common occurrence at long-term motorcar park lots outside Denver airport. Travelers would come dorsum to their cars after a couple days and observe all the wiring had been stripped bare past rabbits.

• #35

How much auto could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck car?

A woodchuck could chuck as much car as the costless market place determines

• #38

Act of God. It says you suck Paul.

• #40

God damn this is pin betoken, haha.

• #42

Scrap and Dale wouldn't touch Paul Ryan'due south wires.

Besides, they're squirrels.

• #43

Fleck and Dale wouldn't touch Paul Ryan'south wires.

Besides, they're squirrels.

They're chipmunks.

• #44

When Chekhov saw the long wintertime, he saw a winter bleak and nighttime and bereft of promise. Yet we know that winter is just another step in the cycle of life. Just standing here amidst the people of Punxsutawney and basking in the warmth of their hearths and hearts, I couldn't imagine a amend fate than a long and lustrous winter.

• #46

I ain't shedding no tears for you or that auto, you limp looking fuck.

• #47

"My car was eaten by animals," Ryan said

You really have to feel sorry for The Onion these days

• #48

Too bad they didn't just seize with teeth the restriction wire earlier his next drive.

• #49

Simply like the family of republicans fucks eating the country abroad right now.

nogglewhart1971.blogspot.com

Source: https://www.resetera.com/threads/a-family-of-woodchucks-ate-paul-ryans-car.55023/

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